new shoes

Newshoes
shannon at gravity pope trashing my old shoes

When you don't have a lot of money, you have to make choices about how to spend what you do have. Somehow, in the rough patches, I've always chosen things that fed my soul over more practical, sensible items. New paints, pens or brushes, colorful magazines full of exotic places and palatial houses, scraps of beautiful fabric, glowing chinese lanterns, dangly earrings that make me feel pretty... rich, soft cheese, warm fresh bread, raspberries, fizzy sweet orangina...

Somehow, having allowed myself these little extravagances {these tiny but precious luxuries} made me feel rich beyond belief and reminded me to stay connected to the joy in simple, everyday blessings.

Boring but necessary items, I can definitely do without. Fancy clothes, a new winter coat, socks without holes, new shoes...

One afternoon, Tyler Perry, a magnificent and wildly successful human being, who wrote, produced, and acted in the very funny and touching play/film, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, (a MUST rent when you need to escape to a happy place and have a really really good laugh...) came on the Oprah show. She asked him about the first thing he bought when he made some big money and he said, without hesitation... new shoes. Living on the streets, while he was writing, surviving, and hoping for his big break, he'd coaxed his old, worn, hole-y shoes into hanging in there. Just a little longer. New shoes were a sign of success, of transition, of hope for the future.

It's funny how things that seem simplistic (and even silly) to the outsider, can be so significant and symbolic in our lives.

Here's to tenacity, here's to people like Tyler Perry who remind us to hang on to the impossible dreams, and... of course... to new shoes.

regime

Redberriesonyellow
red berries

Hot damn these are some good words... say them out loud and let yourself really say them... you'll see...

• REGIME
• ASSAY
• DEMARCATE
• AMPLITUDE
• INJECT
• PERTURBATION
• SOMATIC SOMA
• PULSE
• ACTIVATION
• LAG

All noted during a talk I went to today - (a little clue as to what I'm doing with myself these days!)

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."
-EPICTETUS

foxtail

Foxtailgraffiti2
graffiti crown

Seemed like a normal guy, otherwise. Just like any other 17, 18-year-old kid you'd see on the train at night... Except for the giant faux-fur fox tail, tucked under the hem of his t-shirt, swinging from side to side as he walked.

As I watched other people, watching him, I couldn't help but start to smile... a small one at first. He swooshed his tail out from behind him, over the side of the seat... Bigger... People bending their heads toward each other, whispering... Even BIGGER... After 10 minutes of sneaking glances at this guy sporting a giant fox tail on public transit, wishing I could work up the guts to say, "Hey dude, I like your tail," he got up and made his way to the door of the train, wandering off into the night.

I've been thinking a lot this past week about the random, transient moments we experience all the time. The ones where we want desperately to say something, to reach out to someone, to connect in some small way. More often than not I resist that impulse, smile... and look away.

So I made a decision. I'm making an effort to follow my gut. Since then, many wonderful conversations with complete strangers young, old, and otherwise have been illuminating my solo journeys throughout the city. Bubble tea running in sticky rivulets across the floor, a bucket of hot KFC, drinking, minimum wage, movie extras, shoes, art and singing... all hot topics of conversation.

This week, I'm giving you an assignment. When the mood strikes, act on it. Speak your heart and your mind, and make a connection. Whether it's one moment or many, come back here and share your stories with us by leaving a comment below. You can do it!

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure,
to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer
meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting,
for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

-ALAN COHEN

concrete

Concrete
concrete, Bowness Rd. & Home Rd. NW

Chai latte, wrought iron. A tall chair, a fat book, yellowed pages. Foam on my upper lip. Dark, oil stained planks. Mahogany. Red-painted walls, hung with pretty things. Music dancing under the ceiling. Cotton puffs floating in the wind. Sun, heating my face through the window. Warm, happy. And all these things, delicious, real, concrete...

I know I've been letting you down in the bead department (currently seeking a new studio space. I'll keep you posted - anyone in Calgary with suggestions? please drop me a line!)... but BIG wonderful things are happening in my life... new leaves are growing... hell, new SCREAMING HOT PINK ROSES are growing.

I'm not going to lie to you... these past months have been anything but easy. Sometimes we have to be completely lost in order to find out where we're going.

I haven't answered emails (or done anything bead or art-related) for about 3 months, maybe more. Consequently, I owe MANY emails. I want to thank those of you who have written. From the bottom of my beautiful, stitched-up, bruised-but-healing heart. Your words were twinkling fireflies in a long, dark night, appearing just when I least expected them.

Thank YOU.

~little miss CH, edmontonian silver charmer and all around gentle spirit...
~DK, who writes the most delightful emails, and her lion pen Humphrey!!!
~SP in grande prairie who caught the glass bug this summer...
~the amaaaaazing AH, who always ROCKS my world, and
would join me for a scoop of rocky-road any day of the week!
~EC who remembers me from an ArtWalk many moons ago...
~SG, who is going to meet me in Nelson for coffee one day...
~CNN who has the most beeeautiful blonde doggie ever...
~the talented RV, my one-woman cheering squad in CA!!!
~BS in MN (your wish for me IS coming true...)
~JT of the beautiful photographic eye in NY...
~LL, hope you can "snack" with me soon!!!
~WZ, devoted Uglibeads fan in Houston...
~miz DC in South Africa - or Boston???
~KM in edmonton with the happy vibes
~ABW who misses me and my beads...
~Corey's weird cousin-in-law Stuart...
~magical israeli beadmaker KL...
~beautiful, creative TW in NWT...
~dear world-experiencing TD...
~EC... ES...ET... LS...
~KH a.k.a Captain...
~KR in MI, hiya!...
~KR a.k.a BBF...
~sweet SK...
~Joanna...
~Carol...

(I'll catch up on the emails bit-by-bit, so it'll be a slow reply, but it's a comin'!)

And, to everyone who checks in from time to time to see if I'm alive... patiently waiting for me to grow some new leaves, giving me time to nurture my spirit... You are one dedicated bunch, and I heart you very much...

i scream, you scream

Closed
sign, Phillip's Forbidden Flavors

Last night I drove home, missing a very important turn-off along the way. Ended up horribly lost. I saw many parts of the city I've never seen before. At times I felt completely disoriented. Which way was home, even? Not sure. But also very alive somehow, knowing that I was having a completely new experience, in the dark, as most of the city was sleeping. Ever noticed that spine-tingling thrill in the scary and unknown?

Oddly enough, some of these same feelings are coming up in my work these days. I know where I want to go... but how to get there? That's the tricky part. I've noticed that sometimes when I feel lost, creatively, I'm on the brink of something good, something new, something different... I tell myself to keep moving, keep my eyes open. I follow the fear, more and more. Hoping that it will push me, help me learn, help me grow.

WWW.UGLIBEADS.COM

June 2008

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THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY NOW

  • rain
  • little dog sleeping at my feet
  • my totally mangled lawn
  • banana bread just out of the oven
  • danish apple bars
  • naps
  • a sno-jo from the Strathmore Convenience Store
  • sequins
  • glitter
  • not coughing
  • not sneezing
  • vegetarian sushi
  • old-school Vicks throat drops
    (shaped like Superman's crest)
  • my new nephew Gabriel
  • Tim Hortons cream of broccoli soup
  • sewing pins
  • warm woolen mittens
    (brown, cable knit)
  • beeswax candles
  • reliable alarm clocks
  • listening to CKUA radio